Mutilation

"You're mutilated"
"You're delusional"
"I ought to take you to an alley
And make you fight for your life
You trans freak."
- I'm not allowed to suffer.

"You don't belong here."
"You don't deserve love."
"You should be grateful
That I didn't hit you harder."
- I'm not allowed to suffer.

I suffer!
I shed tears like blood
Crying alone in the wake
Of my sister's death; but
I'm not allowed to suffer.

If I say, "I'd rather die
Than be a man,"
I'm told to stop:
That it's "emotional manipulation;"
- I'm not allowed to suffer.

I can't stand when I look in the mirror
And see the child my parents rejected.
So I stand a little longer
Until I can see my beauty, but
I'm not allowed to suffer.